One Time

“I’m going to miss you.”

He said, as he hugged me for the last time. The warmth I felt from his body was… cold. I will never feel this ever again. This is the last time.

“I’m going to miss you, too.”

I reply, as I pull away and avoid staring into his eyes. I don’t want to get caught up in his gaze again. I don’t want to get trapped by his alluring eyes.

“So, any other last words?”

“Mmm…”

He stares at me with curiosity, wondering what else I would think of saying during a time like this.

I mustered up all my emotions into saying this; it was going to be the last time I will ever feel them.

“I love you.”

I said, holding back the tears from my eyes. I never thought saying those three words will make me cry; this never made me cry. He really did leave a big impact to my life.

“Well, I also have something to say. But I don’t think you’ll believe me.”

I told him I don’t believe that he still loves me even with everything that’s happened. I could never believe that; the fact that he loves someone else says a lot. If he loves someone else, then he loves only that someone else; not me. It was never me.

”… Go ahead. I’ll believe you this one time.”

Hell, it was going to be the last time we’d ever talk like this. I’m not going to let him lose the one thing he can say that was still sort of true.

“Mm, I have a secret.”

It was how we always told each other how we loved each other.

“What is it?”

I would always ask that, even if I knew the answer. Even if I knew the secret, it was always better to ask in order to confirm what was in the mind of the other.

“I love you, too.”

Those words pierced me like a fine needle trying to mend my broken heart. After this, I told myself, now, I’m finally free. He’s finally free.

I believed him, for that one time. Only that one time now; that for at least a moment when we were still together, he loved me. No one else; he loved me with all his heart.

After this, we both stood up and started walking our separate ways. I know that at the end of his road, he hopes to find the girl of his dreams. His 100% perfect girl. I’m sure he’ll find her there, at some point.

And what about me?

What’s at the end of my road?

I still don’t know what to expect; I can only assume.

And this time, I’m just hoping for the best.