Could Haves

I could have picked up that dead bird on the street and set it aside. I could have stopped myself from viewing porn so that there’s no more need to hide. I could have just stopped writing and drew more instead. I could have waited until after college to get a boyfriend. I could have kept my old course and suffer all four years not wanting it. I could have saved my first kiss instead of wasting it. I could have tried more food instead of being picky. I could have eaten more healthily so I wouldn’t be too sickly. I could have brought a towel to wipe my sweat on my way to school. I could have stopped eating two extra spoonfuls since I was already full. I could have waited for another day. I could have thought of what I wanted to say. I could have concluded this poem with this line right now. Instead I continue, ending it, but no idea how…