Reflections: Insecurities

I wrote this earlier in my notebook:

I felt really insecure lately. It’s getting to my nerves. Maybe I just need to go out more and interact with people. Get myself out there. Be criticized and build upon them. I realized that while I was out earlier with friends and other strangers (I was at a UXPH meetup—more on that soon). The whole time I was at there, I kept worrying about how I’d approach and talk to people. I’ve been consciously checking how I interact with people lately, and it’s starting to bother me because it’s getting in the way of how I converse and simply interact with people.

Is it that hard to just ask someone a question? Is it that hard to talk to another person?

A part of me will say yes, it is hard to interact with other people, because there are a lot of factors to consider: am I asking the right question? Is the question too stupid, too simple? Am I addressing them properly? Am I coming off as too nosy? The list of questions goes on and on.

But on the other hand, I’m also aware that I’m the only one limiting myself if I continually stop myself because I have to consider all those factors. There’s nothing bad with asking a question, and even if I thought about it and I still deemed it as a “stupid” question, maybe I’m just being too hard on myself.

I know that I shouldn’t care too much about what others think, because they probably don’t care in the first place, or I’m overthinking it. I just need to keep pulling myself together, especially during the times when I get broken down, either by my experiences or by my own thoughts.

By writing this post, I am looking forward to a better day. I can create that day for myself, too. I’ll do my best to take the opportunities as I see them, and I won’t let insecurities bring me down. I just have to believe in myself—everyone else will say that, so why shouldn’t I do that, too?