Regrets.

Context: This was a draft I wrote around 3 months ago. I figured I’d post it for the heck of it. I’m not really feeling this particular emotion now, but it’s a recurring thought I had last week. Recently, I’ve been getting these flashbacks to the emotions I’ve felt after doing something stupid or something I regretted. Even if a year or so has already passed since I did whatever I remembered, the emotion still lingers. It’s getting kind of annoying, and I find myself shaking my head from time to time, attempting to remove it from my thoughts. Maybe the shaking will knock it out of my mind.

Most of the time, though, I just look like an idiot shaking my head.

I’m not sure how to cope with it right now. I’m not really sure how to deal with regrets. Do I simply just accept that I did something stupid before, and that I’ll just do whatever it takes to not do it again? Is acceptance the only answer here?

I would like to think that I’ve accepted that I’ve done those stupid things already. I acknowledge their stupidity. I acknowledge how the circumstances then led me to do the thing I regretted. I am aware of what I’ve done.

Yet the emotion still lingers. It still affects me like I only did the thing yesterday.

Maybe I just have to keep acknowledging it. I won’t let these flashbacks affect how I decide to do things. I don’t want these emotional flashbacks to make me hesitate over every single thing I can do.

I’ll just keep facing these things, these regrets, head on. It’s just a surge of emotion. It shouldn’t affect all the things I want to do.

I’ll just keep on doing what I do.