The past year has been eventful, to say the least.

I don’t particularly feel like I’ve grown, but I guess that’s mostly my low self-esteem talking right now. In reality, I do recognize that I have changed, in more ways than one. The people I hang out with are slightly different now than it was a year ago. My focus is also on different things now as well.

Skills-wise, though, I wonder if I grew. I guess I’m at that point in my life when things feel like they don’t move much because I’ve already gone over the hurdle of getting the technical skills I need to land jobs. The kind of growth I need isn’t necessarily on how to do things better in terms of hard skills, but maybe either specialize in something or hone my soft skills better.

I’ve learned new things about myself, or maybe the more accurate way to put it is… I understand myself better now. The things I’ve learned about myself were about things that were always there anyway, but now I see them in a different light than I did last year. I never would have thought about it, had I not gone through the things that got me to where I am now.

I’m doing my best to appreciate what I have now, how I have done a good job at things, and that I’ve kept myself afloat for the most part. I’m still working on the trust in myself though. I thought I didn’t have a problem with this, but maybe I’ve just been in denial for the longest time.

At least now I know better. And I got another year ahead of me. While I feel the pressure to move, I recognize that I can just take things as they come, and deal with it with whatever capacity I have now.