sobbing why do nice things cost money 🥹 i saw a really cute skirt, swimsuit, and dress 🤧
Today feels like a holiday at work, but only because probably half of the company is at Enchanted Kingdom celebrating with family and friends because of our 10th Year Anniversary 😆
Tomorrow it’s my turn with my friends 😎
A friend asked me how I was and, after listing down all the things I know I’ve yet to do, like my presentation on smart and inclusive mobility that I have to present next week at a conference 😱 + visa application prep!!, I also wondered why I feel like… there’s less structure in my days.
Then I remembered: Oh right, I bought a game recently. It has been living in my head rent-free 😂
I need to put it down for the next few days, though. Work mode for now :))
im so sleeeeepyyyyyy 😪 (stayed up until 2 to play synth riders 🎮)
first was 🎮 beat saber, then oh shape, and now synth riders. I am thoroughly enjoying getting custom songs to play on these vr rhythm games 😆
thoughts;
Hello! Things have been going well so far. Slowly but surely I’m doing my best to be more deliberate with the things I do.
I’m working towards being more honest with myself, in terms of what I want to do, who I want to spend it with, and overall just taking care of myself.
Here’s hoping next week is stable for me. -Chi #timelapse
Look at this. Ridiculous 😝
I only go there because my boyfriend keeps sending me tweets from time to time, since technically the rest of the world is still on that god-forsaken site, despite the shitshow happening there 😆
Just missing one more X and… 🤭
Random list of things I want to focus on
These things don’t really have a deadline in my head, but I guess for the sake of writing stuff down, I want to share them here.
Here’s a list of things I want to spend more time on, in no particular order (other than in the order I think about them as I write this):
- helping out in raising awareness and calling for action to create and further enforce safer spaces for women and vulnerable people on Philippine roads, starting with the closest urban area I’m in, which is Metro Manila
- learn more about Framer, review my Webflow knowledge, and just find a way to build websites quickly for people who might need help in setting that up
- be more deliberate in enforcing my boundaries, even with the things I do for myself
- Take no bullshit, even from friends (especially from friends), and know when to bring things up to further recalibrate a connection (or maybe recognize when it’s time to end things)
- work on and finish projects, and learn to set milestones and goals so it doesn’t feel neverending?
- finish all Yakuza games (hopefully before Yakuza: end of Kiryu’s Era game comes out in January 2024 lol)
- draw more (and journal more?)
- be more comfortable in writing down thoughts and sharing them to the world even if I fear being judged (for sometimes, the most random or silliest of things)
- make my own Micro.blog setup (or own website setup in general?)
- be kinder to myself
Alright, that’s it for now. There are some items that still pop up in my head, but since they don’t necessarily “solidify” after passing, I’ll just let it pass for now.
some people elsewhere really have all the time in the world just to harrass and belittle others.
i am personally bothered, but at the same time it seems inevitable if I continue to voice out concerns. Such is the life of a mobility advocate, I guess?
Figma branching got me scratching my head sometimes 😅 seems like there’s still more ways to improve with this feature :))
later naman i’ll go out so maybe that’ll give me a change of pace
weekly; unfiltered, timelapse
the episodes have become weekly. I find it a bit amusing that even my moods or emotions follow a 2-week sprint. I guess that’s the effect of my work on me. I wanna feel better, get better. I’m trying to be more honest with myself. And also be more caring for my wellbeing. After I do so, anyway, I feel lighter. Sometimes I can get out of the rut by myself. But usually. I do need help from others. This is also another way: just to share thoughts, unfiltered. I hope I get in a better mental state. I hope I can get through the weight.
– Chi
I either need to talk to someone again today or… really just focus on a particular task without any interruptions.
The brain fog is strong today, and the emotions are low. Medyo weekly na siya. This is a bit concerning 🫠
why are tuesdays my brain fog days, it literally does not cooperate with my meetings filled day 🫠
At this point I’m still happy of my decision to not continue to use Twitter.
I still feel some sadness with the social network I have there, though. But I guess, I make do with what I have again. There’s always other places to be.
ty to friends who give me more photos of me and my folding bike together in my usual #ootd hehe 😌🫶
I keep asking myself why I continue buying books I end up not reading. Mostly resource books.
But I guess I can look at it as a gift for future me?
I wonder what other books I can buy that are more evergreen in their nature. And how I could pick up reading as something I do more often.
A year does go by fast; self-reflection and other musings
The past year has been eventful, to say the least.
I don’t particularly feel like I’ve grown, but I guess that’s mostly my low self-esteem talking right now. In reality, I do recognize that I have changed, in more ways than one. The people I hang out with are slightly different now than it was a year ago. My focus is also on different things now as well.
Skills-wise, though, I wonder if I grew. I guess I’m at that point in my life when things feel like they don’t move much because I’ve already gone over the hurdle of getting the technical skills I need to land jobs. The kind of growth I need isn’t necessarily on how to do things better in terms of hard skills, but maybe either specialize in something or hone my soft skills better.
I’ve learned new things about myself, or maybe the more accurate way to put it is… I understand myself better now. The things I’ve learned about myself were about things that were always there anyway, but now I see them in a different light than I did last year. I never would have thought about it, had I not gone through the things that got me to where I am now.
I’m doing my best to appreciate what I have now, how I have done a good job at things, and that I’ve kept myself afloat for the most part. I’m still working on the trust in myself though. I thought I didn’t have a problem with this, but maybe I’ve just been in denial for the longest time.
At least now I know better. And I got another year ahead of me. While I feel the pressure to move, I recognize that I can just take things as they come, and deal with it with whatever capacity I have now.
I have this urge in me to just randomly do stuff online, either to stream what it is I’m playing or working on, or just to really do whatever. Even despite getting tired of social media in general, this urge in me to just share is still very much alive.
But part of me is also scared. 😅
Sigh, here I go again with food orders instead of cooking with the stuff I have in my fridge 😖 Still can’t form the habit again huhu